Openness

I feel like I should be telling them a Christmas story.  No I don’t think so.  TA Darius. 

Why? 

Because there will be too many words they don’t know.  Remember when you told them about baby Jesus? 

Haha.  Yeah.  That could have gone better.  Not your fault. 

In 2003 someone valued my openness, someone else asked if because of it I’m misunderstood, inferring that’s the case 

& still I wonder, my poor heart lying around over all of the spaces.  I hope you’re sitting down,

up until dawn and around, worlds within worlds.

Within worlds.

Update

Cheersing my own reflection in the mirror tonight it occurs to me that I have become my own best friend.

My new mind-set is not without problems: I am getting a little tired of knowing how I feel all the time.  But as there is no one around to tell me not to analyze it, I know that the FACT that I do know counts for something.  And what it counts for.  Exactly.

So I am halfway through my contract here in Vietnam as of this past Wednesday.  As these things go i.e. fractions, the end of the second third is coming around.  I will have gotten back from Thailand 8 days before its commencement, unless that word means “begin.”

I have a new routine which enables me to write a lot these days which means I get to spend a lot of time rearranging words, and everything I write gets shorter and shorter, and with each word I take away something, like another word that may make sense, takes its place.

Significance of the image is only revealed in the act of preserving it, & the vow to be the one who sustains that significance must continually endow it with attention to the exlusion of real life, the everyday passing… -Fanny Howe

So I am thinking of this quotation even after I am at work making asinine comments about the Haunted House schedule.  But I have an idea what I am going to be for Halloween.  And it was an amazing day today, I hope that you believe me.

JAME

You kind of have to have seen Steel Magnolias for this to make sense.

I wanted to learn how to do the bangs-french braid and Linda, being Linda, having the braid in, having the know-how, put together an evening to remember–I don’t think I even cried at prom.

“Steel Magnolias, french bread pizza, and french braiding: my apartment, Wednesday, 8 p.m.”

“I’m in,” Teacher Nicole said, not even looking up from her papers.

Amy and I get there at the exact same time as Nicole who has brought two bottles of wine.  Linda has got all the fixings chopped up already including mozzarella cheese and salad.  The dvd is in, playing the credits.

Linda suggests we start the movie while the pizzas are cooking, and then take a break from the movie to get them, that way we get the chit-chat out of the way at the beginning of the movie.  Pizza and chit-chat means we wouldn’t actually watch the movie: I’m guessing the fact that we have all done this before in our regular lives is what makes it easy for us to fall into place with each other, relative strangers.  As the beginning credits roll lil’ Lola joins us, gotta love her.

I think it’s so cheesy that we are watching Steel Magnolias!  I have had this movie on VHS, the title written with Mr. Sketch markers, my whole life.  The significance of it is lost on me until much later, until after Jon, Linda’s boyfriend, comes home and all five of us are crying and Linda tells him to go in their room and shut the door and he does, that we are kind-of like those women…

Granted, our friendship is on a smaller scale, we just live in the same town we haven’t known each other long in the scheme of things but travel has a way of leveling people, much like school or work or other endeavours; we have two of three of these in common plus we are in this crazy place, we are on the same, not page but scene, and they even let me be Daryl Hannah, the most lovable dork of all time.

Afterwards T.L. showed us how to do the braid as promised, she just really delivered.  I’m going to do Nicole’s, she was tired and didn’t feel like being in the bright lights of the bathroom which I totally get.

Amy